Camping
by Zet Sway
Summary: And that's how I ended up in a truck with the Redfields, driving up some mountain with enough camping equipment to feed and shelter a small army.  Leon/Claire.  Oneshot.


Author's Note: I hope all my Leon/Ada lovers don't kill me. I can't find a way to put the two of them together in a way that isn't utterly tragic. I like to think that Claire would take good care of him. Of course, this doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing Leon/Ada, I just had to lay off the angst for a bit.

Many thanks to my best friend and waifu for throwing in the bigfoot portion of this. And for being my proofreader. I LOVE YOU ISSA.

And while any of you beautiful people out there are reading this, please, I have a request to make of you. Mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Well, that doesn't apply here. In order to further my writing skills and learn from my mistakes, I want you people to tell me what you DIDN'T like about this work. I'd appreciate it if you weren't a jackass about it, but seriously. Tell me what you loved, and tell me what you didn't. If I'm ever to become a better writer, I need to know about the good and the bad. LOVE YOU FOREVER. :D

ALSO. Children's song that I loved when I was a wee lass: I'm going camping, feels so good. Camping out here in the woods. Camping makes me sing, oh how I love to go camping.

DISCLAIMER: Resident Evil, Leon S Kennedy, Claire and Chris Redfield are all copyright to Capcom. I do not profit from the writing of this fiction. I do not claim ownership of any of the characters used in this work.

* * *

I'm no fun, they say.

People always ask me what I do to unwind with such a stressful job. Truth is, I don't do anything. Usually, I sleep. When I'm not sleeping, I'm sitting on my ass watching reruns on TV. Sometimes I'll have a few beers. But generally speaking, I don't do anything.

That's exactly how I got roped into this trip.

Claire and her brother both managed to find some time off together. They wanted to go camping. I told her over and over that I just wanted to stay home, but Claire absolutely refused to let me sit the trip out.

"You're no fun, Leon!" she had teased. "You never do anything exciting. You have to come with us!" I had told her I wanted to relax. She countered by telling me that camping is relaxing.

Truth is, I really like Claire. I've always liked her, from the moment I met her. But at the time I met her, I had just broken up with my long term girlfriend. I didn't want another relationship, I wanted an easy lay. She deserved better than that. After Raccoon, we kept in touch. But as they say, out of sight out of mind. I became too preoccupied with Ada to think of anything else. But chasing Ada is like chasing your shadow. She's always with you, but you'll never be able to catch her. I'd had some time to think about it, and I decided that after all the pain and heartache she's caused me, it was time to put myself back on the market.

So when Claire called me up and put on that pouty little voice, it was hard to put up much of a fight, no matter how much I wanted to spend time off with my faithful bed.

And that's how I ended up in a truck with the Redfields, driving up some mountain with enough camping equipment and food to feed and shelter a small army. Apparently, Chris was an avid outdoorsman in his spare time. Good way to keep in shape, I guess. The trip was to last four days. As I sat in the truck listening to the two argue about which part of the woods would be best for our trip, I still wasn't sure if I was happy about coming along or not.

They picked cozy grassy clearing surrounded by trees and overlooking the mountainside below. The view was incredible, really, but the whole thing was sort of awkward. I'd never been camping before, unless you count holing up in moldy shacks in buttfuck nowhere in Spain camping. Both Claire and Chris happily engaged me in conversation, but for some reason I just couldn't relax. I sat there and listened to them talk around the fire while I tried to tell myself that there weren't hunters and lickers and ganados out waiting for me in the woods. In my own house, I knew how to feel safe. But put me in a thin nylon tent? I'm on high alert, as if every crazy parasite cultist and bio-organic weapon is out to get me. Doctors and therapists tell me I have post-traumatic stress disorder. They're probably right.

Basically, it was no surprise I had trouble sleeping. Gentle wind blew through the trees and insects chirped as the sun went down. During the day, the forest is wild, untamed, but homey in a way, as if it contains a certain magic. It's earthy, natural, and friendly. Once the sun sets, however, the forest is a different entity. It's thick, dark, and oppressive; almost evil, in a way. Every rustle of a leaf and every snap of a twig sets your heart pounding. The insects that call the woods their home sound off in a chorus of chirps and tweets that blankets the land in cover noise, making you wish you could listen for the horrible things that you're sure are out to get you.

I didn't know what time it was. All I knew was I couldn't sleep. Chris was snoring and Claire was fast asleep as I laid there on my back, hands behind my head. I gazed at the shadows moving on the top of the tent. I wondered how long I'd been laying here, motionless. A few hours, at least. At some point I decided it was warmer than I was comfortable with and I discarded my shirt on my duffel bag in the corner. I was restless.

Sleeping in a tent is like sleeping outside, in the sense that you can hear literally every sound around you, as if the tent wasn't there. It wasn't that the noise was keeping me awake, it was just that I was so accustomed to sleeping indoors. I probably could have fallen asleep if I didn't feel like something horrible would happen if I did. Eventually, I figured that as long as I was too paranoid to go to sleep, I might as well go outside and put my paranoia to some use, and keep watch. As quietly as I could, I crawled out of my sleeping bag unzipped the tent flap and stepped on to the soft and damp grass outside.

What a clear night. The brilliant sky was dotted with more stars than I had ever seen, and a half moon illuminated our small camp just fine. The grass was cold on my feet, but it was refreshing. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done anything barefoot except shower. I looked out over the mountainside and immediately noticed how nice the air was; crisp and light and softly blowing strands of hair across my forehead. The trees rustled behind me and Chris' snoring suddenly sounded quiet.

The earth was alive with sound, but silent at the same time; as if I were the only man here. I breathed deep, taking in the fresh night air, surprised to feel my tension easing away. Maybe Claire was right, maybe I really am a shut-in. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this free and at ease.

I recalled that I had a high-priority job working for the government. Despite being successful and well respected, I often felt like my job as a government agent was just one chapter of a long book of failures in the life of Leon Scott Kennedy. The emotional baggage that comes with a job like mine is overwhelming. I have to fight at every moment to keep my emotions in check, because when you're the big man in charge of a bio-terrorism bust or search and rescue operation, everyone is counting on you. I'm too stubborn to opt for more counseling than is mandated by my supervisors, and it's no use trying to talk to anyone else about my troubled mind.

But there, standing on that cliff overlooking the valley, none of that actually felt real.

Off in the distance, I could see the pinprick headlights of cars driving on the interstate, my only reminder of the real world. I heaved a sigh and walked over to the cliffside and sad down. I observed the landscape in below in silence, finally relaxed.

Some time passed and I heard someone unzipping the tent flap. I glanced behind me. It was Claire. She had the most adorable bed head I'd ever seen and she wore nothing but one of her brother's t-shirts. She held a roll of toilet paper in one hand, and she looked at me as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Seeing her made me happy. I smiled. "Hey."

"Just going to take a leak..." she mumbled, smiling back tiredly before she wandered off into some trees behind the tent. Before long, she was back. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"I couldn't sleep."

She stepped close and sat down beside me. Her hair was down for once, and she idly combed it with her fingers to tame her mussed tangles.

"It's so beautiful up here. The view is spectacular," she said once she was satisfied with her hair.

They say when a woman plays with her hair in front of you, it means she likes you. Well, that was perfectly okay with me. "Yeah, it really is," I said as I gazed at the landscape.

She sighed. "When I was little, my dad used to take me and Chris up here. Chris used to tease me, 'cause I never wanted to go, 'cause I was afraid of heights."

I looked over at her. Her eyes were transfixed on the view, like she was gazing into the past.

"Then one time dad took me up here, just me and him. We had such a great time… and somehow I just wasn't afraid of the cliffs anymore." She plucked a blade of grass from beside her and looked down into her lap, fiddling with it.

"Just like that?" I said, watching her bend and twist the piece of grass in her hands.

She looked up and smiled at me, brushing away the rogue strands of hair that tickled her nose in the breeze. "Yeah. Funny how things work like that sometimes, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Her eyes lit up. "You've never been camping before, have you? I was in such a hurry to get you out of your apartment for once that I forgot to even ask you if you were a first timer."

I had to laugh at her excitement. "Nope. I don't get out much."

"Yeah, for real," she giggled. "No wonder you're always so stoic and solemn; you never do anything for fun. What's stopping you, anyway?"

"I guess I'm afraid if I ever change my routine, something bad will happen," I sighed.

She pulled her knees up to her chest. "Yeah, well if you never get out and do something for yourself for a change, something awful will happen. And that something awful will be you."

"Hey!" I shifted a little, stretching my legs out on the grass. "You're not calling me awful, are you?"

She laughed then, laying back on the grass with her arms behind her head. "Well, Leon, you're pretty grumpy when you haven't had some fresh air in like, eight weeks. You're a regular workaholic." She chuckled.

I sighed. She was right. And she was totally cute when she was right. "Well then, I guess that means you'll have to take me camping with you more often, then, huh?"

"So you're having fun, then? It's hard to tell when you're so quiet. I think this is the most I've heard you talk since I asked you if you even wanted to go on this trip."

"Always a good time with you."

She swished her hand in the air as if to say 'oh, please,' and rolled her eyes. "Pssh, yeah, okay."

It had been so long since I'd flirted with a woman. Was she into me? I couldn't tell. Claire is so strong and independent but… well, remember when I said I liked her? Since she called me, she was all I could think about. I figured if I let on that I was into her, the worst that could happen is she'd tell me she wasn't into me. And after all the rejection I'd seen from Ada, it wouldn't even be a dent in my ego. I decided, then, to do something bold.

I looked over at her and gently took her hand from where it lay beside her hip. "I mean it." I brought her fingers to my lips and kissed them softly.

There was a moment of silence between us as she gripped my hand in hers and looked into my eyes, as if searching for some meaning behind my gesture. I watched as a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and she spoke.

"I thought you'd never come around, Kennedy." And with that she used her grip on my hand to tug me down beside her.

I probably would have been giddy with butterflies, but I was actually tired as anything. How had I been so oblivious to her advances all these years? I wondered what this meant, this thing between us. I didn't even think that hard on it, but my whole world changed in that one moment.

I rested my head on the soft grass and she pulled me close, resting her head on my shoulder as she kissed me on the cheek. She draped an arm across my chest.

"I'm sleepy," she said through a yawn. I yawned myself, and felt sleep creep over my mind like a veil of midnight. Smiling, I put an arm around her shoulders.

"Me too." I nuzzled closer to her forehead and kissed it lightly.

"Night, Leon," she whispered.

"Night, Claire," I said, eyes closed, feeling sleep's soothing presence finally descend upon me.

And just as the soft rocking feeling you get when you're on the verge of passing out started to hit, I heard it. Heavy crunching from behind us, from behind the tent. In those dark, dangerous trees.

"Claire," I whispered, shaking her arm gently as I pulled myself up. She blinked sleepily, her eyes unfocused.

"Wh-wha?" God, she was cute. But there was something making its way towards us, and fear is such a huge boner-killer. I hushed her, nodding towards the woods as the sound of a limb breaking off resonated through the air. She snapped awake, and went to reach for her gun out of habit, swearing when she found only her underwear. "Shit. My gun's in the tent."

"So is my rifle. On the count of three, we're gonna have to run back, get them, and wake Chris." A thousand scenarios flew through my mind, the next being more terrifying than the last. I inhaled deeply to calm myself.

"Wait, wait, wait. You brought your rifle to go camping with us?" Claire hissed, looking at me incredulously. I shrugged.

"You brought your gun," I pointed out.

"Touche." I smirked then, and got myself ready to dash. She looked back at the trees, which were shaking furiously now, and followed suit.

"Alright. One..." I felt her tense beside me. "Two..."

And before I could get to 'three', the source of the noise came into view, a flurry of motion and sound. But instead of Wesker or some giant infected tentacle monster, we were faced with something entirely unexpected.

It was huge, seven feet tall, and covered in hair. It looked like a man, almost. It's face was contorted in a grotesque scowl. And it's feet. It's feet were… massive. Thick and huge and hairy. Could this thing really be… bigfoot?

Claire's eyes widened in shock and we both froze. Maybe if we sat still enough, it wouldn't see us and walk off. The beast sniffed the air and walked over to the warm coals of the fire. The longer we stayed still, the more it seemed to lose interest in our camp. But then, just as it turned to walk off, there was rustling from inside the tent.

Almost without warning, Chris burst out of the tent, looking decidedly ridiculous in his boxers. He looked right at us.

"Leon!" He all but shouted. "The hell you doing with my sister, man!"

The beast turned and looked over at the noise. I begged Chris with my eyes to be silent, putting a finger to my lips and jerking my head toward the giant by the fire.

He didn't seem to catch on. "Damn it! Is this the only reason you opted to crawl out of your little hole and go on this trip? So you could put the moves on my baby sister?" Silently, the beast moved away from the fire, creeping up behind Chris.

"Shhhh!" Claire whispered desperately. "Chris, he'll hear you!"

"What? Who? The fuck is going on here?"

It was right behind him. What it planned to do with him, I don't know, but I wasn't prepared to let that happen.

"CHRIS, BEHIND YOU!" I shouted.

He whirled around, just in time to catch the beast's fist in his hands. "Holy fucking shit!" Were his only words as he took off. Claire and I wasted no time in seizing the moment, and dove into the tent, throwing clothing and sleeping bags around until we located our weapons.

We emerged from the tent just in time to see the beast bearing down on Chris, backing him up against the truck a little ways down the trail.

"Chris!" Claire took off toward her brother, and as soon as she was close enough, tossed a .45mm handgun at him. He caught it effortlessly and ducked, rolling to the side enough to put some space between the beast and himself.

Claire looked over at me as I chambered a round into my bolt-action rifle. Immediately, she understood what to do. I watched as she quietly exchanged some words with Chris before they took off past the fire pit and toward the tent. Both of them shot as they ran, keeping the beast's focus on them as I steadied myself and took aim.

Situating my eye behind the scope, I counted the seconds as the lumbering thing approached. One… two… three… four… and… BAM. One shot and it was howling in pain, clutching its right kneecap and limping, doubled over. Chris and his sister immediately flanked it, coming up behind it and simultaneously clocking it on the head with the butts of their handguns.

With a final groan, it fell to the ground, unconscious.

Claire took a step back, shifting her weight to one leg and setting a hand on her hip as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Jesus Christ," she breathed. "What the hell is that thing?"

"Looks like a kind of bio-organic weapon," Chris said with a sigh. "We should probably notify local authorities."

I walked over to them to get a closer look. "It kind of reminds me of  
Bigfoot, to be honest."

"You're crazy, Kennedy," Chris laughed. "Bigfoot doesn't exist."

"Sure looks an awful lot like him to me."

"I gotta agree with Leon, here, Chris. We should probably just drag him off into the woods and hope he knows better than to stay away from here. If we contact the ranger we're just going to be up all night and all day tomorrow with reports and paperwork, and this is my vacation. Fuck paperwork."

"If that thing comes by this camp again, I swear to god, I'll kill him," Chris spat, kicking it in the side.

The three of us dragged it off a good 50 feet or so into the woods, grunting with effort and trying to ignore the stench of the thing. When we returned to the camp, Chris sat down in his chair by the fire and scratched his arms.

"God dammit, I'm going to have all kinds of ticks now…" Claire and I looked at each other and had to stifle a laugh. Chris, of all people, getting all worked up over ticks. It was kinda funny. We joined him around the now dead fire pit.

"And just what were you doing out here with my sister, Kennedy? You two haven't been going out behind my back, have you?"

I had to laugh. "We were just talking, man. But in all seriousness, I'd like to take her out sometime, if you don't mind."

His eyes focused on me with a piercing gaze that almost made me regret even asking. He regarded me with strict consideration. Finally, he spoke.

"Fine. As long as you take her somewhere nice, and treat her like a lady. Hold the door for her, pull out her chair for her, be a gentleman. And I swear to god if you make her cry, I will fucking take your balls, Kennedy. Mark my words. Your balls are on the line."

"Seriously?" I don't know why I even bothered asking. Claire was a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions without help from her brother. But it made me feel proud, in a way, to have his approval. "I sincerely expected you to say 'no way.'"

"Well, so far you haven't let her down. And that run in with whatever-that-was back there only reinforces that fact. You've got her six. It's a big deal." He smirked at me before resuming checking himself for ticks.

I looked over at Claire, positively beaming. With a wink and a quiet giggle, she followed me back into the tent.

**ONE YEAR LATER.**

"Seriously, Leon, where are we going?" Claire said from behind me as I tore down the road on her motorcycle. Her eyes were blindfolded.

"We're almost there, babe. Just a few more minutes."

Before long we arrived at the site, looking exactly as we had left it one year earlier. I parked the bike and Claire removed her helmet. "Can I take off the blindfold now?"

"Yeah."

Her mouth split into a grin as she removed the blindfold and took in her surroundings. "Oh, wow! How did you even find this place? Did Chris give you directions?"

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you," I said with a wink.

I shrugged the compact hiking tent off my back and set it up a few paces away from the fire pit. The damn thing was barely big enough for the two of us, but that was perfectly okay with me. In a matter of 10 minutes, our bare-bones camp was all set up.

Strolling over to the cliff, I sat down in the same spot I had last year, and she followed suit. "I figured you'd like to spend some time up here, just the two of us."

She smiled and hugged my arm. "Yeah, hopefully this time with no bigfoot."

No sooner had the words had left her mouth, we heard rustling in the trees.

"You can't be serious…" she whispered, reaching for the gun at her thigh. The two of us rose together, creeping closer to the treeline, determined to be prepared for it this time. The rustling came closer and closer with each passing second, and then stopped suddenly. I scanned the woods frantically, trying to catch a glimpse of what was moving out there. For ten agonizing seconds, I strained to hear or see something, anything that could prepare me for what was in there.

And then, from right beside us, the bushes rustled again. I jumped back, pointing my handgun at the source of the noise.

…pointing my handgun right at a bunny rabbit.

Claire burst into laughter, and I felt increasingly stupid as the damned thing twitched its nose and looked up at me with beady little eyes.

"It isn't that funny," I said as Claire fell to her knees, wiping tears away from her eyes. The rabbit sniffed the air and hopped away, blissfully unaware of everything. I tucked my gun away into the back of my pants.

"God, Leon," she breathed, standing up. "You should've seen the look on your face. It was like somebody had killed Santa or something."

"Hey, my face is awesome, thank you," I replied, scowling, as I turned to set up camp. She grabbed my hand.

"Oh, come on. Besides," she said, her voice sinking lower. "I can think of a few other 'awesome' things about you."

Well, then. If that's how were going to play... I put my hands on her hips and pulled her closer. "Only a few?"

Claire rolled her eyes and brushed her fingers along my cheek. "Don't be smart, you."

"I'm just saying, you should probably remind me what they are." She was pressed up against me know, and goddamn. Claire tilted her head and grinned.

"Then you should probably get in the tent before Bigfoot does show up, shouldn't you?"

I happily obliged.

END.

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All of my work, along with additional curiosities about myself, is posted on my DeviantArt page under the name My17thRedEyE. Thank you for reading! :D


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